What Happens Next

What is out there if I die?
I want to know.
Yet I am scared.
I need to be sure of everything.
I’m walking into darkness.
Into fear.
Into the biggest test of my soul.
And I hope with as much hope as I can muster that whoever is choosing my fate,
God or whoever else,
Makes the choice that I deserve.
We care only of ourselves.
When another dies, pain takes over.
All those cuts and burns that will never heal.
Is that worse than death?
To me, the worst kind of pain is the pain of the present.
And not of the past or the fear of the future.
And if that pain never goes away?
That’s worse than death.
So I’m just going to live.
To live my life.
Never need to know anything.
And never be afraid of the unknown, but of the known.

Anger

Anger
Fire
Hot molten lava
It rises in my throat
It burns
It scorches
It builds up
Day after day
It EXPLODES.
And now what is left?

The Color Palette of My Life

The Color Palette of My Life
Soft, light, smooth, fiery, lush, dark, blinding.
Anything.
Soft for that feeling as you lie in bed with the covers tucked around you, your pillow cushioning your head.
Light for that daisy that ripples in the breeze that reminds you of summer.
Smooth for the feeling of the pencil gliding across the paper making anything you want it to make.
Fiery for that anger that builds and builds until it explodes and there’s nothing left.
Lush for the plants that fill your garden and ask for company and care.
Dark for that feeling that you will never be safe no matter where you are, no matter who is with you, no matter what is ahead.
Blinding for the sun that blinds out the bad things.
The color palette of my life.

Believe

Do you believe in ghosts?
Do you be lieve in Santa Clause?
Do you believe in the Tooth Fairy?
Why not?
I d0.
I believe in imagination.
And that's all i need.

Greener Pastures

Sometimes life feels better on the other side;
In the greener pasture.
Sometimes you feel that your life isn't
All that you wanted it to be.
Sometimes you take that adventure to that
Other, greener pasture.
When the truth is,
The grass may be greener,
But it doesn't taste as good
As your grass.

Love

Love is warmth.
Love is light.
Love is snuggling in the night.
Love is friends.
Love is you .
Love is happiness,
Yet fear too.
Love is passion.
Love is kiss.
Love is simple,
Simple bliss.

Twilight

Why must the day come to an end?
Why must all the colors blend
Into darkness
Into fear?
But tomorrow, it brings happiness.
It brings a feeling of security,
With all its light.
But twilight,
It's mysterious,
Anxious...
Yet warm with all it's colors.
Sometimes you can't always have a new start.
Sometimes you need to live in the darkness for a while
To see the light.