What Happens Next

What is out there if I die?
I want to know.
Yet I am scared.
I need to be sure of everything.
I’m walking into darkness.
Into fear.
Into the biggest test of my soul.
And I hope with as much hope as I can muster that whoever is choosing my fate,
God or whoever else,
Makes the choice that I deserve.
We care only of ourselves.
When another dies, pain takes over.
All those cuts and burns that will never heal.
Is that worse than death?
To me, the worst kind of pain is the pain of the present.
And not of the past or the fear of the future.
And if that pain never goes away?
That’s worse than death.
So I’m just going to live.
To live my life.
Never need to know anything.
And never be afraid of the unknown, but of the known.